so yesterday i stubbed my toe. well, actually i stubbed 3 toes at once. is that possible? haha so anyways, now my 4th toe on my right foot is in severe pain and it doesn't bend. is that a bad sign? my dad thinks i broke it... 

ugh

Every Thanksgiving, i post a long list of what i'm thankful for on my LJ, myspace, facebook, etc. so here goes... you don't have to read it but it feels good to just get it out there...

-mom, dad, cliff and kurt for putting up with my craziness 24/7
-my extended family for being supportive of everything i do
-my aunt elly and cousin bryan for helping me through a rough patch and
  finding me an awesome prom date
-my best friend, jen, for being an amazing best friend
-sam fuller for keeping my head on straight these past eight months...
-cyril for always believing in me and keeping me sane
-jubin and nick, my awesome orchestra buddies and amazing friends
-all my other friends for supporting and being there for me always
-theo and the dudley family, for opening my eyes to new experiences
-the cullens for being basically family and supplying me with food :)
-mrs. klotz for her almost 15 years of teaching me violin
-mrs. lesser for accompanying me on all of my pieces
-mrs. howard, mr. brown, mr. barton, and mr. puma, for being amazing music
 department staff and letting me be very involved with the program
-mr. shannon for not letting me give up on AP chem
-jen crow and melissa boyak for making youth group awesome!
-a house to live in
-food to eat
-money for college (at least most of it)
-heat and AC
-chocolate cake
-shoulders to cry on
-my cats
-conference all-state orchestra
-insomnia medication
-Harry Potter (and JK Rowling, of course)
-fairly good grades
-John Williams
-shoe shopping
-Children of Eden
-AIM express
-my amazing First Unitarian Church and youth group
-Sibelius
-music. always music.

"for all these things and so many more, we are truely grateful. Amen."

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

it's depressing

i love it :)

give a listen!

i still don't have the urge to reveal every minute detail about my life, but maybe i'll just summarize. 

Um... okay i was in the play last month! it was oober fun, especially production week! My part was "Big Mary", which is ironic because i'm small. duh. and kathleen grace played "Little Mary" and she's pretty tall... haha it was my last drama, and i got quite teary-eyed at the end. That kinda sucked, but all in all it was a great experience and i loved every minute of it!

i'm not gonna lie, halloween pretty much sucked... i was a vampyre. with a Y. um only close close friends will understand the Y part ;) the most fun thing i did for halloween wasn't even on halloween... i went to a friend's party for about an hour. it was absolutely awesomely fun! but halloween... jen and i went out for dinner which was cool but we only got about 4 trick-or-treaters. that sucked. but i did get to mooch candy off my little brother! 

Since then, i haven't slept. honestly, i really haven't slept. i don't really know why... i think it's the combination of anything and everything going on right now. I finished applying to all of my colleges... early decision at ithaca, and then fredonia and baldwin wallace. my ithaca audition is december 9, and i'll find out by december 15. I'm also in the process of making a CD of my pop songs, which should be ready by june '07! i just wrote two new songs which are up on my myspace... www.myspace.com/lenagabrielle! please listen if you haven't already. I have allstate this weekend, and conference in 2 weekends.... i guess that's about all... 

notice i'm not not diving into my full range of personal problems... haha!

i'm back,
Lena

Epiphany

Through the tired months

And the hurt

Through my crazy rants

And the hope

You've been there

Always there

For me

Though at first I was afraid

To let my feelings get the best of me

Now I know

That you were right and I was

A fool

I don't want you to think

That I'll come running right away

I need my time

To test

The boundaries of love

But I'll always have a spot

For you

In the back of my cluttered mind

And when I need you

You'll be there

And I know that I can't live

In a world without you

Because I just realized

It just came to me

An epiphany

I love you

Once upon a starlit night,

The moon rises and in its wake

A million tiny diamonds collide

And dot the night with twinkling starts.

And I, alone, asleep in my bed

Get lost in a world of dreams

The girl is young, she lives and dreams

Of escaping from the haunted night.

Every morning she quivers in her bed,

Afraid to rise, afraid to wake.

And I, alone, among a multitude of stars,

Watch as her hopes tumble and collide

The wind is fierce and clouds collide

And I can't tell if this is one of my dreams

Or a real tornado. Eyes filled with stars,

I try to blink away the sky black as night.

And I, alone, sit bolt upright and wake

As I toss, turn, and shiver in my bed.

The sun sleeps in his homely bed

Of emptiness, ready to collide

With his unsuspecting pray. His fires wake

From their slumber and their dreams.

And I, alone, try to warn the night,

But my cry is drowned by a chorus of stars.

He tries to run, but everywhere stars

Appear and block his way. His bed

Shakes as he runs from the night

His dreams and worst nightmares collide.

And I, alone, try to realize his dreams

As he disappears, leaving nothing in his wake

A tender kiss causes my senses to wake

My mind, my brain, I'm filled with stars.

Dreams of life. Dreams of love. Dreams.

Dreams of my room and my musty bed.

Dreams of anything and everything collide

With the starlit end to the hollow night.

The night is over and I wake.

Unconsciousness and eagerness collide with stars.

And I, alone, am done with this bed and my dreams.


comments? thanks!

i just applied early decision to ithaca!!!!!

it's done... last chance to comment before i turn it in on TUESDAY!!!!!

            This summer I volunteered at OnStage, a performing arts camp I’d attended from 1997-2001. My job this year was to assist the music director in teaching elementary and middle school students the score to an original musical that would be performed in August. Although I was given a lot of responsibility, which was fulfilling, I soon began to realize that I was different from the other directors and assistants. While they congregated at their private picnic table for lunch, I hung out with the kids. While the other staff gained the campers' compliance by yelling, I gained their cooperation by showing consideration and enthusiasm for them.  As the weeks went by, I couldn’t help but become increasingly annoyed with the other staff members’ lack of interest in the kids. Rick, the music director, had an "I-don't-care" philosophy. During the school year he works with disadvantaged inner-city children, and he maintains that he has “no room to care about their personal lives.” But that was the problem. I did care. I cared with a passion.

            The week before our show opened, I went to visit the theatre camp that I had worked at the summer before. As soon as I got there, I was greeted with open arms by Mr. Wahl and Mr. Jansson, the two directors there. As I sat through their dress rehearsal and gave Mr. Jansson feedback about their show, it dawned on me that I really missed working there. Mr. Wahl was exactly like me—involved with and devoted to the children. On the other hand, it seemed as if Rick was only working at OnStage for the paycheck. I became so overwhelmed with emotion that I broke down and began to cry. Mr. Jansson was supportive and attentive as I told him of my dissatisfaction with my summer. Eventually he calmed me down and I was able to sit back and enjoy the rest of the evening.

            This day was a real turning point for me. I realized that there is more than one way to deal with people. I know that in order to be successful in this world, you have to be able to get along with people (and that doesn't mean forcing them to do your every bidding!). No matter what I end up doing – teaching music, or composing for the movies, I'm going to pursue everything with dedication and devotion. My zest for life and love for others will guide me to become the best person I can possibly be.

i'm now concertmistress of the 2006 high school area all-state orchestra!

we're playing the original unabridged version of Raiders of the Lost Ark!!!! 

and russian easter overature which has a lot of nasty solos for yours truly... quite excited


Upcoming Concerts, etc (if anyone wants to come)
Thursday, Oct 19 7:30 pm @ mendon: select choir, etc. (some awesome stuff there) i'm playing vln on 2 pieces (1 for select  and 1 for womens)
Thurs-sat, oct 26-28 8:00 pm @ mendon: Stage Door ... kinda serio-comedic play... i've got an awesome part... and i'm real excited
Monday, oct 30 7:30 pm @ mendon: Symphony Orchestra... featuring me playing the awesome Chaccone by vitali (arranged by moi)! we really need an
audience for that one 
Sunday, Dec 3 10:00 am @ eastman: 2006 conference all-state symphony orchestra.... it's going to be AMAZING!

hope you can come to at least one :) can't wait for concert season #1!!!

This summer I volunteered at OnStage, a performing arts camp I’d attended from 1997-2001. My job this year was to assist the music director in teaching elementary and middle school students the score to an original musical that would be performed in August. It was fun, but I soon began to realize that I was different from the other directors and assistants. While they congregated at their private picnic table for lunch, I was the happy-go-lucky teenager hanging out with the kids. I was their best friend—a mentor they could go to for help, a shoulder to cry on, and someone simply to laugh with. As the weeks went by, I couldn’t help but become increasingly annoyed with the other staff members’ lack of interest in the kids. My “supervisor” Rick’s philosophy was “I don’t care.” During the school year he works with disadvantaged inner-city children, so he has “no room to care about their personal lives.” But that was the problem. I did care.

            The week before our show opened, I went to visit the theatre camp that I worked at last summer. As soon as I got there, I was greeted with open arms by Mr. Wahl and Mr. Jansson, the two directors there. As I sat through their dress rehearsal and gave Mr. Jansson feedback about their show, it dawned on me that I really missed working there. Mr. Wahl was exactly like me—involved and devoted to the children; I felt like Rick was only working at OnStage for the paycheck. Finally I became so overwhelmed with emotion that I broke down and began to cry. Mr. Jansson was supportive and attentive as I told him of my dissatisfaction with my summer and eventually he calmed me down.

But there was no stopping my tears when I got home. I cried because I couldn’t stand my fellow staff members. I cried for the kids at camp who weren’t getting the experience they deserved. But most of all I cried because it had finally hit me. Sure, composition is my passion, but nothing will change my love for kids. Maybe I’ll be a famous composer for the movies when I grow up, but before I do, I want to leave my musical talents with the next generation. I’m going to be a music teacher.

Only Eleven

It’s you

You with your pristine eyes

And your adorable voice

You that brought out the best in me

And it’s you

You with your blondish hair

And your off the wall humor

You that brought out the best in me

And it’s you

You with your crying spells

And your frequent depressions

You that brought out the best in me

And it’s you

You with your naive drama

And your heartfelt complaints

You that brought out the best in me

Who knew

That one summer

That one person

That you and your eleven years

Could change my life